Narrative: Fair Warning

"Please except it, please"
"It's two weeks late, so I cant, sorry"
"You're such a cool teacher; I'm learning so much. How could you let this hurt my grade; you know how hard I'm trying[...]"
"Well...maybe..."

At first, conversations like the one above tortured me, yet flattered me. I was cool? These students liked me, right, yet I wasn't going to be that teacher that let her students walk all over her, or was I? Oftentimes, in the beginning, I was fooled by the flattery and wanted to maintain a certain coolness, so I would let deadlines slide with some additional deductions. Well, fuck that. I think I have lost a certain amount of compassion for excuses over the last three years, but I have become a better teacher. How could a lack of compassion equate better teaching? I think it depends on the type of compassion that is pulled back and what type is still given. I love teaching; I love seeing my students learn; I love learning from my students; I hate enabling them.

As we progress as teachers, our style might change and along with that, policy. At first I was a young teacher with no experience, thrown into a classroom with students that saw right through my forced bravado. Occasionally, I felt like a babysitter with kids that kept telling me they were allowed to watch rated R movies and have their friends stay the night, and their parents never answered the phone to verify the information. I made many mistakes, much to my disappointment, but I learned from them. Eventually I found a combination of several changes allowed me to step out of the caregiver role and into the instructor's role.

First, I realized that my casual teaching style was confusing to students; I wanted to encourage candid discussions, but my friendliness was used against me when assignments were late or not up to par with my expectations. However, attempts to be formal were difficult and felt unnatural.

Second, I realized that my syllabus and assignment guidelines needed to be clear and succinct. Students had more difficulty sweet-talking a teacher with a solid syllabus and a clear set of expectations.

Lastly, I realized that caring for my students didn't mean making excuses for them. For every student that came to me a with a sob story, one may be silently suffering in his/her seat, not expecting special treatment. I wasn't being fair by allowing some students more privileges than others.

Once I realized these three things, I tweaked my style to best fit me and my students. While it is not perfect, I have found that honest conversation with my students about my expectations and their expectations at the beginning of the semester really opens up dialogue and sets the stage for a sturdy semester. I tell them about my holistic and casual teaching style, but I reinforce that my policies are formal and are not up for debate. Also, throughout the semester I try to really understand what they are going through academically and personally, which allows me to connect and foresee problems before they occur. This style seems to work for me, and now when students come to me I can confidently answers questions about the course and assignments. While firm, I'm still flexible, but that flexibility is worked into the syllabus with late policies and exemption policies. In addition to the syllabus, I verbally reiterate what is expected and the consequences if expectations aren't met before every assignment.